Subject: Fw: Dear Tech Support.
Date: April 5, 2014 9:35:12 PM EDT
To: undisclosed recipients: ;
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct
slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and
jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.
In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as
Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such
as Football, Golf, Sailing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs,
and Housecleaning simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can
I do?
Signed, Desperate.
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is
an Operating System. Please enter the I Thought You Loved Me app and run the
Tears function. You may like to try the Guilt function also.
If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run
the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember - overuse of the above
application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or
Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the
background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are
unsupported applications and will crash Husband.
In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and
cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running
one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve
memory and performance.
Good Luck, Tech Support.
